Stone sculptures of jewelry-adorned cats dating back to at least 500 BC have been discovered in Egypt. Feline goddesses were recorded in texts dated thousands of years earlier. In 1888, a farmer in Egypt stumbled upon a tomb containing eighty-thousand mummified cats. While it is estimated that the first domesticated cats appeared ten thousand years ago in the Fertile Crescent, savvy persons have long recognized that an international cat-cabal has quietly controlled human development for at least as long. It is no accident that cats dominate the internet.